The Thorns That Pierce my Heart
by DemonicFoxSpirit
Summary: Alan Humphries hates his job as a Grim Reaper. It's always the same: research his target, and after a few days, collect the souls and cinematic records to be stored at the Shinigami Dispatch Society. He often thought of leaving...until he meets Eric. Alan is instantly attracted, so how will he cope when Eric disappears suddenly without warning? YAOI, Two-shot


**A/N: This fanfic is based (very) loosely on the Kuroshitsuji II Musical. Things WILL end differently than in the musical. I do not own Black Butler, nor any songs used. Hope you enjoy!**

XOXO

'The memories of dead stars  
are still shining in the sky.  
Someday, I too, want to  
become somebody's light.

I've been on a long trip,  
dragging along a lonely shadow...

I was born alone in this world  
and alone I will die.  
If this is my fate,  
why are tears coming out of my eyes?'

xxx

Alan raised his arms above his head and stretched as he sat perched on the roof of a building, bright sunlight reflecting off his glasses while he gathered information on his newest target. He was a Grim Reaper, and his job was to collect the souls and cinematic records of humans who were scheduled to die. They would then be taken to the Shinigami Dispatch Society to be stored. He had been doing the same thing for many years, and needless to say, Alan hated it with a passion. Although he often thought of leaving, he would never say it out loud. Besides, he had more important things to worry about. Like his sickness, for example. It was rumored that the 'Thorns of Death' could be cured, but only by commiting a sin; collecting one-thousand pure human souls. Though Alan would never dream of actually doing it, even if it wasn't just a fairy-tale.

Alan was bored, and upon spotting his target, moved in quickly to gather the soul and cinematic records. He just wanted to return back to headquarters as soon as possible and be done with work for the day. It wasn't like he'd be doing anything different on the next day, and the day after that. And so on... Such was the long life of a shinigami.

xxx

As Alan made it back to headquarters, he was greeted by Grell Sutcliff, one of the more annoying reapers that seemed to practically live at work. He was slightly taller than Alan, had long, flowing flame-red hair, porcelain-like skin and wore bright red glasses connected to a small chain with a small skull on each side. His eyes were bright yellow-green surrounded by thick eyelashes. His clothing consisted of a long, bright red jacket, a light gray vest over a white long-sleeved under shirt with a red and white striped ribbon used as a tie around his neck, tight black pants, and on his feet were red and black high heels. Alan thought the strange man looked more like a woman, and on more than one occasion, had heard Grell refer to himself as a female. The man was strange, indeed, but who was he to argue?

"Oh, why hello, Alan!" Grell wrapped an arm around the shorter man's shoulders, grin splitting wide and showing off his pointy shark-like teeth. "Will told me to fetch you. He said he needs to talk to you. But when I said that he could talk to me instead, he tossed me out of his office! Honestly, who treats a lady like that?!"

Alan smiled softly as he looked at Grell's pouting face. "Thank you, Grell-san. I'll go now, it wouldn't be wise for me to keep him waiting, right?"

"Of course, although I would keep him waiting. I just love it when he gets all mad, even though he gives me more work for it," Grell pouted again, but quickly recovered, sending a wink in Alan's direction as he skipped off, probably to go bother someone else.

Alan sighed. It was always the same. William-sempai would probably just tell him he had another assignment to accomplish within the next few days, but that would be fine. It's not like he could argue about it. Still, he wished that he could just leave, and never come back. Nobody would miss him, nor would anyone even ask about him. He felt like a ghost, just going through the motions and hoping something exciting would happen, if only just once. All of a sudden, a sharp pain went through his heart, instantly bringing him to his knees as he clutched his chest with one hand and placed his other hand on the floor in front of him. Compared to the other times this happened, it was a mild pain, but it still brought tears to his tightly shut eyes. His mind had been so overloaded with other thoughts that he hadn't realized that he already made it to William's office, the pain stopping him just outside the open door. In that moment, he was lifted to a standing position, and could hear faint talking from a voice he didn't recognize. As the pain subsided and his vision cleared, Alan trembled slightly and fell against the hard chest of whoever had helped him up. He lifted his light yellow-green eyes and saw his boss standing in the doorway of his office, a slightly concerned look on the elder's face. Realizing that he was still being held upright, Alan slowly pushed himself away from the heat engulfing him and straightened his jacket before speaking. "I'm...fine. Thank you, um..."

Alan's breathing slowed and grew shallow as he finally managed to look at the person who helped him up. The man was tall, maybe around 6'2 and had short, wavy light brown hair that stopped just past his broad shoulders, his bangs flipped from the right side and fell over his left eye. On the right side of his head were six small french braids that blended with the hair just behind his ear. He was slightly tanned, on his face were the standard spectacles that new recruits were required to wear, and just under his bottom lip was a closely trimmed beard that descended down his chin. His clothing consisted of a white long-sleeved shirt underneath an open black jacket, black tie hanging loosely around his tanned neck, black pants that seemed to cling to his muscular looking legs, and on his feet were shiny black leather shoes. This man was mesmerizing. It took Alan a moment longer to realize that William was speaking.

"-and he will be your partner from now on."

Alan looked at his boss and shook his head slightly. "Uh, I mean sorry, sir. But could you repeat that?" He watched as William sighed and dug through the paperwork in his hands. The older man opened his mouth to speak as he handed a black folder to Alan.

"This is Eric Slingby, and as of today, he is to be your partner. In that folder you will find all the information about your newest assignment. Starting tomorrow, you both will enter the world of the living to find out why there are so many unscheduled deaths occurring. I have already given Eric his Death Scythe. So that being said, I trust I can leave the rest to you?" William lifted one hand to push up his glasses, yellow-green eyes void of emotion.

A partner? Was he serious? Ah yes, William-sempai was always serious. But still...

"But sir, I don't need a partner. I work well enough alone. I'd hate to be a burden to any of you..." Alan lowered his gaze to the white floor beneath him, fighting back tears that he wanted nobody to see. Tears that were meant to be shed in the comfort of his own home, in the presence of no one but himself. Sad tears. Lonely tears. Tears of pain and sorrow...the only tears he had ever cried. "I-I... I don't..." Alan sighed and shrugged his shoulders, seemingly in defeat as he lifted his sad yellow-green eyes to look into his boss's eyes. He knew he couldn't argue with an order.

"Y-yes, William-sempai. I will read up on it right away."

"Very good. You may take as long as you need, although I would like for this ordeal to be wrapped up as soon as possible. If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask."

"Of course, sir." Alan watched his boss retreat into his office and when the elder was out of view, he slumped his shoulders even more and sighed again. So much for being able to relax the rest of the day. He opened the folder and began reading when he felt a hand fall lightly on his shoulder, causing the younger man to nearly drop the paperwork.

"It's nice to meet you, Alan."

"Huh?" How had he even forgotten that such a captivating man stood less than a foot away from him? Alan turned his head towards the man beside him and openly stared for a moment too long, thus earning him a smile from the other reaper. "Oh, hello. It's Eric, right? I'm sorry about that, it's nothing against you. I just..."

Eric laughed and rubbed a hand through his soft-looking hair, and Alan found himself wishing that he could touch it, just to see if it was as soft as it looked. "Nah, you don't need to apologize. I understand you've been quite busy lately. William told me that you were always doing your job without questions or complaints, and I have to be honest, it sort of surprised me."

Surprised him? Did William tell him about...? "Uh, why would it surprise you? I just do my job like everyone else here, there's really nothing special about me." Alan began walking down the hall, Eric following close behind. Just knowing that the taller man was but a few inches away was enough to make him slightly uncomfortable. He didn't really understand what he was feeling, and although he didn't even know Eric, couldn't help but feel like he had known him all along. It was strange, and Alan didn't know what to think of it.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks as he was turned around, yellow-green eyes growing wide from shock. "There is something special about you, Alan. You may do your job like everyone else here, but..." Eric lifted a hand to Alan's face and pushed his bangs aside, the kind gesture completely catching the younger reaper off guard. "Not everyone here has the sickness. The fact that you still complete your assignments even though you are suffering...it's just amazing. I wish I could be like you. I wish I was the one suffering, and not you."

What? Was Eric serious? They were practically strangers, and here Eric was, confessing something like that?

Alan felt his face grow hot from the close proximity of their bodies, only just now realizing that Eric kept inching his face closer to his own. "Eric-san? You don't even know me, so why-?"

"Like I said, you are special. And even though you complete your tasks on time with no errors, it seems to me that people look down on you because of your sickess." Eric brushed a single tear from the younger reaper's face, smile warm and comforting. "Alan, listen to me. I want to help you, but there is only one way I can do so."

"W-what are you talking about-?" Surely, Eric didn't mean to kill humans who weren't on the 'to-die' list, just to collect one thousand pure souls. Doing so would basically label him a renegade, and he would be sought out and destroyed. Alan could feel his heart rate speeding up, which would only cause the thorns to pierce deeper. But some things just needed to be said. "Are you not aware that the killing of innocent humans is strictly forbidden? And even if it wasn't, the collection of a thousand souls to cure the thorns of death is just a fairy-tale. A myth. There's no way it could really be true- Aahh!" Alan clutched his chest and began sliding to his knees, but felt one arm drape around his waist as Eric placed his other arm under his legs, lifting the younger man up to keep him from falling.

"Alan, you need to calm yourself. You should rest, just sleep for a while." Eric placed his forehead softly against Alan's as he began walking in the opposite direction. "I will take care of you... You will never be a burden to me."

Alan could feel his body going limp in Eric's arms, and although he tried to fight it, his eyesight was getting blurry. His head fell against Eric's hard chest and he closed his eyes, wishing that he could go just one day without the pain.

XOXO

Wind blowing gently, quietly rustling through the trees, birds chirping happily as they fly from branch to branch, a sky so blue like the ocean and clouds fluffy and white like spools of cotton. That's where Alan found himself on more than one occasion, especially after he had an attack. It was peaceful and serene...tranquil even. There was never a sun in the sky, but Alan could still feel the warm rays all over his skin. At first, it was strange. The first few times Alan found himself here, he was afraid. He didn't know what to think about it. But as time went on, and the attacks on his heart grew more and more intense, Alan came to enjoy this place. The land all around him was full of flowers. Tulips and daffodils, white lillies and orchids. Even red and white roses bloomed around him. He had always adored flowers, for as long as he could remember. He had many different types of flowers growing in pots at his home. They just made him feel...well, like he could always care about something that would continue to grow and flourish with all the love he poured into them.

Alan turned his head up to the sky, closing his eyes as he stood there completely at peace. When he was in this place, the thorns couldn't hurt him. He never knew why, but he welcomed it like rain. Lowering his head, he began to walk forward. Slowly and calmly. He was looking for something; His absolute favorite thing about this beautiful place. As he walked, he saw his destination in the distance, getting closer and closer with every step he took. When he was close enough to see the flowers, he stopped. A giant tree with long, graceful looking limbs sat amidst a sea of flowers. Not just any flowers. Alan's favorite flowers... The Ericas were in full bloom, painting the ground around them a beautiful shade of purple. This was Alan's favorite thing about the mysterious place he always went to after an attack. He would always sit amongst the Ericas and brush his hand against them, and he would talk to them. As if they were listening, they would bob and shake even when there was no breeze, and it made Alan happy. He didn't really have friends, so he welcomed his time with the flowers he so adored. As he took another step forward, however, he noticed something odd. Something that had never happened before.

Leaning against the tree, arms crossed and head bowed, and surrounded by the Ericas...

...was Eric.

XXX

Alan woke with a start, breathing heavy and clutching his chest with fear that the thorns inside him would dig deeper into his heart with any move he made. When his breathing calmed, Alan leaned his head back and connected with something soft, probably a pillow...wait...he had no idea where he was. The lights around him were dimmed very low and with a turn of his head, he could see a table with two white candles that were almost completely burned down. Starting to panic, he tried to sit up, but was still weak from his last episode, so he just fell back against whatever he was laying on. Surely he wasn't still at headquarters...every room there was bright white. But this room, if that's what it was...well, all he could see were shadows due to low lighting, and he knew that if this was indeed headquarters, he would still be able to see the stark white of the walls even with the lights being dimmed. Lifting one hand to cover his closed eyes, he heard a sound. He wasn't sure what it was, but it sounded almost like the click of metal on metal. Slowly opening his eyes, he sat up and pushed himself all the way back until he met a hard surface, drawing his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He took this time to look around, and came to the conclusion that he was in what looked like a bedroom.

A bedroom that wasn't his.

Fear began to gnaw at his belly, his hands grew sweaty and his heart rate sped up drastically. Within seconds, Alan was clutching his chest with both hands, fighting the urge to scream and alert whoever had brought him here, and instead, fell over the side of the bed he was on and landed on the floor with a loud thud, thus knocking over piles of books scattered around. The pain...like someone was sticking hundreds of red-hot needles into his chest and twisting them in slow, agonizing circles. This was the worst attack in months, and since Alan was still weak from the last one, he couldn't move. All he could do was lie on the messy floor and clutch his aching chest as multiple books indented into his skin. It seemed like forever before he heard footsteps outside the cracked door, then was immediately bathed in bright light that only made the younger man wince and cry out at the intrusion on his eyes.

"Oh god, Alan!"

He recognized that deep voice. It was Eric that came rushing over to him; it was Eric that instantly wrapped tanned muscular arms around his slightly smaller body and carefully lifted him enough to sit him down on the edge of the bed. That's all he could think. His mind replaying one word over and over like a broken record.

Eric...Eric...Eric...

"What the bloody hell happened?! Oh god, I shoulda been in here with you, Alan I'm so sorry..."

Then Alan felt those strong arms wrap possessively around him, holding him tight against a strong chest that Alan quickly began to realize was naked. He tried to push himself away but was so weak that movement was fleeting. So he slowly leaned his head against the body in front of him. The older man was talking, but Alan heard none of it. Instead, his thoughts were running in circles and taking advantage of the fact that Eric...oh, god, Eric smelled so nice...his skin was slightly damp against Alan's cheek...and he felt water dripping onto his face. Alan had never been embraced like this by anyone in his long, miserable life, and for once...he truly felt wanted. Though he still held on to the fact that this man holding him so...intimately...had only just met him. But...Alan was unable to move. Nor did he want to. He wanted this forever. It felt so nice being held so tightly. When he felt fingers delve into his messy brown hair, Alan tensed his whole body. The feeling was so new, so...foreign...and it sent shivers racing through every inch of his body. Tears flowed freely now, and Alan tried to turn away from the searing heat of Eric's body if only to hide his face from the man so close to him, when he felt the roughness of Eric's fingers on his chin. Lifting his head up slowly, he was startled to see that he was face to face with Eric...their foreheads touching gently and causing Alan to bite his bottom lip.

"Please don't cry, Alan. I'm here now..."

Alan closed his eyes, tears still trailing down his slightly flushed face. He stiffened his body and sucked in a breath when he felt Eric's fingers sliding slowly down the middle of his back. When his eyes fluttered open, Eric smiled and leaned his face closer to the younger reaper. "E-Eric...?" Warmth consumed him when Eric lightly brushed his lips against Alan's, a strange kind of flaming spark shooting rapidly through his entire body that made the younger man arch his back and clutch on to Eric's shoulders as if his life depended on it. He was completely new to these feelings...but...he couldn't stop it. He was powerless in his present situation, and he didn't want it to end. But...Alan couldn't help but feel like it was a dream. A dream that felt so real and so...wonderful. When he felt Eric's tongue trace over his bottom lip, Alan gasped and closed his eyes, only to let his tears flow freely once again.

Eric pulled away quickly thinking that he may have over-stepped the line and grabbed Alan's hand, bringing it up to his lips, placing tender kisses all over it. "Alan...why are you still crying?"

Alan sighed deeply before shaking his head. He felt like a coward, an idiot, call him whatever you like. He wasn't going to let his dream go away. It was too nice to let it escape through his fingers, so he grabbed the back of Eric's neck with one hand and slid his other down the older man's naked chest. "I-I... I don't..." He blinked away the tears and stared directly into Eric's eyes. "Please...don't let me wake up!"

Eric smiled, then laughed softly, his chest and shoulders vibrating from the sound. "Alan, you're not dreaming. This is real. I want to make you feel things that might take your mind off the pain you deal with every day. Will you let me?"

"B-but...I...you don't know me... Why-"

"I want to know you. I want to spend every second getting to know you. Everything about you. I want to show you things and do things to you that you've never seen or felt before. You make me crazy with the way you look at me, or the way you stare off into the distance when you're out on assignment...as if you were imagining yourself somewhere far away from this hell... I've never felt this way about anyone before." Eric smiled, and Alan melted.

Turning his face away, Alan sighed again. "I saw you...in my dream. I don't know why or how it happens, but...every time the thorns dig into my heart, I find myself in this wonderful place...blue sky, the warmth from an invisible sun, and a single magnificent tree. But my favorite thing about that place... I know it may sound stupid but-"

"The flowers."

Alan whipped his head around quickly, the movement catching the older man off guard. "W-what?! How do you know?"

"I know you saw me. And I saw you. But I could never speak to you. Although I could hear everything you ever said. I could hear the sadness in your voice when you talked to the flowers..." Eric rubbed a hand through his hair, and Alan tried to scoot himself backwards.

"I don't know what it means, or why it even happened. All I know is that I want to be the one that takes care of you. And if you have no objections, I'd like to show you something."

Alan was beyond confused. Still...a part of him may have been a bit scared of the older man in front of him but the other part wanted nothing more than to give himself over to said man. To accept everything Eric may offer. "O-okay...what is it?"

Eric gently wrapped his arms around Alan's waist and carefully lifted him up, only to place the young reaper near the middle of the bed. "Lie on your back. I promise I won't hurt you."

Alan stiffened, and his heart rate began to speed up. He feared that the thorns would begin to pierce his heart again, so he tried to calm himself. He had no idea what to even think about the present situation...Eric was... Oh god, Eric is getting closer...He's on the bed now...He's right in front of me... "W-what are you doing?" Is this really happening?!

"Just relax, Alan. I'll make you feel good."

Alan watched helplessly as Eric, the man he had only just met, slowly crawled closer to him and placed his knees on either side of Alan's trembling legs. He could feel the heat from Eric's body radiating around him as the older man finally settled himself and hovered over his smaller body, the look in the older reaper's eyes a bit unsettling.

"Have you ever been touched before, Alan?" Eric lifted a hand to Alan's cheek, lightly trailing the backs of his fingers against his skin before settling it behind Alan's neck, gradually pulling his face closer. "I bet you haven't...I can do things to you that you've never experienced in your life. If you would only allow me..."

Alan shivered at the suggestive tone in Eric's gruff voice, and putting aside the fact that he knew this shouldn't have been happening, he tangled a fist into Eric's hair and slightly tugged. He wanted nothing more than to be thoroughly ravaged by the older reaper above him. This was the first time he felt excitement in all his life, and just the lightest touch made his skin crawl and his heart beat spastically. Letting thoughts of his sickness fly out the window, Alan gave in to the feelings running through him. Pulling Eric closer, he closed his eyes and covered Eric's lips with his own, the heat dancing between them almost unbearable. With an almost animalistic urge, Alan wrapped both arms around Eric's broad shoulders, sliding his tongue out to flick against Eric's bottom lip hungrily. He groaned deeply when he felt Eric's body press into his own and rolled his hips to gain more friction. The feelings he was experiencing were more than he could have imagined. The pleasure was consuming him, body, mind, and soul. He never wanted it to end...

However, fate was cruel, and the thorns began sinking deeper into his heart.

"AAAHHH!"

Alan broke the kiss and pushed Eric away roughly, sending the older reaper off the end of the bed. He stood up and clutched his chest with both hands, his legs shaking beneath him as he stumbled away from the bed and over to the door.

"Wait! Alan, you can't leave like this!" Eric ran over to the younger man and tried to pull him back but was shoved away like he was on fire. "A-Alan...?"

"L-leave...me...a-alone... I have to...I need... Gaaahh!"

The last thing he heard was Eric screaming his name as he collapsed to the floor, and everything went black.


End file.
